It takes trust. Jesus was always looking for people who would fully trust him. When you ask your disciple to change her behavior and you don't have an answer she likes for "Why?" She still has to trust you.

It takes modeling. Sermons help answer the "What should I do?" question. But sermons don't show you how to change your behavior. If the behavior can be modeled, it answers the "How do I do it?" question.

It takes confrontation. Jesus confronted his disciples. They knew where they stood. If we want to transform others, we must confront behavior and ask for something different.

It takes availability. Discipling another person is an inconvenient task. It intrudes on your regular life and often robs you of your privacy. Jesus was always available.

It takes vulnerability. Jesus lived with his disciples for three years. They got to see him up close and personal. As your disciple sees you live your life out before her, she see your flaws. Those flaws give her permission to fail.

It takes care. Jesus invested his life in his disciples. You can't do this clinically. Sometimes you have to hug and kiss disciples. You have to accept them in their messed up state.