So many people go thru life feeling like failures. For them, having kids is kind of like a "do-over." It's a chance to live out their dreams vicariously. Soccer dads get to live out their dreams of stardom as little Johnny shoots his first goal.

My parents were wonderful, but I was never going to be the doctor my Dad wanted me to be. I fainted when my second child was born. I was bad in biology and chemistry class and I got queasy when I saw blood.

Our job as parents is to study our children, understand how God has gifted them and what dreams he has bound up in their hearts. Then we need build them up so that one day, they can tap their gifts and realize those dreams.

We parents need to fight the urge to control our kids as they get older, gradually releasing them to their destiny. Too many parents have apron strings like bungee cords that keep extending out.

This quote from Henri Nouwen is a wonderful perspective on parenting. He thinks of the baptism of children as an opportunity for parents:

"Through birth a child is given to parents; through baptism a child is given to God. At baptism the parents acknowledge that their parenthood is a participation in God's parenthood, that all fatherhood and motherhood comes from God. Thus baptism frees the parents from a sense of owning their children. Children belong to God and are given to the parents to love and care for in God's name.

"It is the parents' vocation to welcome their children as honored guests in their home and bring them to the physical, emotional, and spiritual freedom that enables
them to leave the home and become parents themselves. Baptism reminds parents of this vocation and sets children on the path of freedom."